In the summer of 1993, as Nirvana was gearing up to release their highly anticipated album In Utero, Kurt Cobain, the band’s enigmatic frontman, sat down for a candid interview with Guitar World magazine. This interview, a rare glimpse into Cobain’s thoughts and feelings, offers profound insights into the man behind the music and his relationship with his guitar, even if not explicitly gear-focused. Amidst the whirlwind of Nirvana’s global fame and the intense media scrutiny, Cobain, armed with his perspective and, metaphorically, his guitar, navigated a world that often felt at odds with his artistic soul.
The atmosphere surrounding Nirvana at this time was electric, charged with the same disruptive energy that once defined the Sex Pistols. They were more than just a band; they were a cultural phenomenon, and Cobain was at its epicenter. Despite the grounded presence of Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl, Nirvana embodied a refusal to conform, a spirit that resonated deeply with a generation. Their return from a period of relative silence was met with fervent anticipation, turning them into a lightning rod for societal anxieties, hopes, and passions. The mystery surrounding their next move only amplified the intensity, with much of the pressure bearing down on Cobain.
Kurt Cobain, a figure as complex as his music, was a mix of charm, arrogance, and unpredictability. Securing this interview was a task in itself. After a Melvin’s show, the interviewer managed to catch him backstage. “Do I have to do this now?” Cobain asked, a testament to his reluctance towards the media glare. However, once settled in a hotel room, Cobain revealed his intelligence, coherence, and surprising candor. For him, this interview seemed to be a moment of respite amidst the chaos, a chance to articulate his thoughts and experiences. The interviewer sensed a man on a precarious edge, balancing immense creative power with a vulnerability that hinted at self-destruction. This interview captures that pivotal moment, offering a glimpse into the mind of Kurt Cobain, the musician and the man, always connected to his guitar and his music.
Guitar Beginnings and Family Roots
GUITAR WORLD: Tell me about your background.
KURT COBAIN: I was born in Aberdeen, Washington, in 1967, and I lived between Aberdeen and Montesano, which was 20 miles away. I moved back and forth between relatives’ houses throughout my whole childhood.
Cobain’s early life was rooted in the small towns of Washington state, a landscape that would later influence his raw and honest songwriting style. His connection to music began early, nurtured by his surroundings and personal experiences. Even without a formal music education initially, the environment and his internal world were shaping the future guitarist and songwriter.
GW: Did your parents split up when you were young?
COBAIN: Yeah, when I was seven.
GW: Do you remember anything about that?
COBAIN: I remember feeling ashamed, for some reason. I was ashamed of my parents. I couldn’t face some of my friends at school anymore, because I desperately wanted to have the classic, you know, typical family. Mother, father. I wanted that security, so I resented my parents for quite a few years because of that.
The divorce of his parents at a young age profoundly impacted Cobain, instilling feelings of shame and isolation. This emotional upheaval marked a turning point in his childhood, contributing to the sense of alienation that would later permeate his music. This early emotional experience, though not directly related to his guitar playing at this age, laid the groundwork for the introspective and emotionally charged lyrics he would become known for.
GW: Have you made up with them now?
COBAIN: Well, I’ve always kept a relationship with my mom, because she’s always been the more affectionate one. But I hadn’t talked to my father for about 10 years until last year, when he sought me out backstage at a show we played in Seattle. I was happy to see him because I always wanted him to know that I didn’t hate him anymore. On the other hand, I didn’t want to encourage our relationship because I just didn’t have anything to say to him. My father is incapable of showing much affection, or even of carrying on a conversation. I didn’t want to have a relationship with him just because he’s my blood relative. It would bore me.
So the last time that I saw him, I expressed that to him and made it really clear that I just didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. But it was a relief on both our parts, you know? Because for some years he felt that I really hated his guts.
His complex relationship with his parents, particularly his father, reveals a struggle for connection and understanding. This personal turmoil, while deeply private, informed the raw honesty that became a hallmark of his songwriting. The emotional depth in his lyrics resonated with millions, partly because it stemmed from genuine personal experiences like these family dynamics.
GW: You can’t duck it.
COBAIN: That’s what I’ve done all my life, though. I’ve always quit jobs without telling the employer that I was quitting; I just wouldn’t show up one day. I was the same in high school-I quit with only two months to go. I’ve always copped out of things, so to face up to my father although he chose to seek me out-was a nice relief.
This admission of avoidance and coping mechanisms provides a glimpse into Cobain’s personality. His tendency to “cop out” contrasted sharply with the intense emotional exposure in his music. This duality – the withdrawn individual versus the intensely expressive artist – was a key aspect of his enigmatic persona.
GW: Have you written about this stuff at all? The lyrics on “Serve the Servants” sound autobiographical.
KURT COBAIN: Yeah. It’s the first time I’ve ever really dealt with parental issues. I’ve hardly ever written anything that obviously personal.
“Serve the Servants,” a track from In Utero, marked a new level of lyrical directness for Cobain, confronting personal and parental themes explicitly. This willingness to delve into autobiographical territory showcased his evolution as a songwriter and his growing comfort in using his music as a vehicle for personal expression. While he held a guitar in his hand, he was channeling these personal narratives.
Isolation and Musical Discovery
GW: What was it like for you growing up?
KURT COBAIN: I was very isolated. I had a really good childhood, until the divorce. Then, all of a sudden, my whole world changed. I became antisocial. I started to understand the reality of my surroundings, which didn’t have a lot to offer. Aberdeen was such a small town, and I couldn’t find any friends that I was very fond of, or who were compatible with me, or liked to do the things that I liked. I liked to do artistic things and listen to music.
Growing up in Aberdeen, post-divorce, Cobain experienced profound isolation. This isolation, however, became fertile ground for his artistic development. His inclination towards “artistic things and listen to music” points towards the nascent stages of his musical journey, a path that would eventually lead him to pick up a guitar and create his own world of sound.
GW: What did you listen to then?
COBAIN: Whatever I could get a hold of. My aunts would give me Beatles records, so for the most part it was just the Beatles, and every once in a while, if I was lucky, I was able to buy a single.
GW: Did you like the Beatles?
COBAIN: Oh, yeah. My mother always tried to keep a little bit of British culture in our family. We’d drink tea all the time! I never really knew about my ancestors until this year, when I learned that the name Cobain was Irish. My parents had never bothered to find that stuff out. I found out by looking through phone books throughout America for names that were similar to mine. I couldn’t find any Cobains at all, so I started calling Coburns. I found this one lady in San Francisco who had been researching our family history for years.
The Beatles were an early and significant musical influence for Cobain, introduced to him by his aunts. This exposure to melody and songwriting craft from a young age was crucial in shaping his musical sensibilities. The Beatles’ influence, while not overtly punk, provided a foundation in song structure and melodic hooks that Cobain would later fuse with the raw energy of punk rock.
GW: So it was Coburn?
COBAIN: Actually it was Cobain, but the Coburns screwed it up when they came over. They came from County Cork, which is a really weird coincidence, because when we toured Ireland, we played in Cork and the entire day I walked around in a daze. I’d never felt more spiritual in my life. It was the weirdest feeling and I have a friend who was with me who could testify to this I was almost in tears the whole day. Since that tour, which was about two years ago, I’ve had a sense that I was from Ireland.
This anecdote about his Irish heritage and the profound experience in Cork reveals a deeper, almost spiritual dimension to Cobain’s identity. This connection to his roots adds another layer to his complex persona, suggesting a search for belonging and identity that extended beyond music.
High School Alienation and Punk Rock Awakening
GW: Tell me about your high school experience. Were people unpleasant to you?
COBAIN: I was a scapegoat, but not in the sense that people picked on me all the time. They didn’t pick on me or beat me up because I was already so withdrawn by that time. I was so antisocial that I was almost insane. I felt so different and so crazy that people just left me alone. I wouldn’t have been surprised if they had voted me Most Likely To Kill Everyone At A High School Dance.
High school amplified Cobain’s feelings of alienation. His self-described “antisocial” and “insane” feelings highlight the intense disconnect he felt from his peers. This period of social isolation further fueled his internal world, pushing him deeper into artistic expression as an outlet.
GW: Can you now understand how some people become so alienated that they become violent?
COBAIN: Yeah, I can definitely see how a person’s mental state could deteriorate to the point where they would do that. I’ve gotten to the point where I’ve fantasized about it, but I’m sure I would opt to kill myself first. But still, I’ve always loved revenge movies about high school dances, stuff like Carrie.
This dark reflection on alienation and violence offers a chilling insight into Cobain’s mental state. His capacity to understand extreme alienation, coupled with his own darker fantasies, underscores the emotional intensity that characterized his life and art.
GW: When did you first hear punk rock?
COBAIN: Probably `84. I keep trying to get this story right chronologically, and I just can’t. My first exposure to punk rock came when Creem started covering the Sex Pistols’ U.S. tour. I would read about them and just fantasize about how amazing it would be to hear their music and to be a part of it. But I was like 11 years old, and I couldn’t possibly have followed them on the tour. The thought of just going to Seattle which was only 200 miles away was impossible. My parents took me to Seattle probably three times in my life, from what I can remember, and those were on family trips.
Punk rock’s initial allure for Cobain was through magazines like Creem, sparking a powerful fantasy of rebellion and musical expression. The Sex Pistols, even at a distance, ignited his imagination and planted the seeds for his own punk rock journey. This early fascination showcases the yearning for something raw and authentic that resonated with his own feelings of discontent.
GW: After that, I was always trying to find punk rock, but of course they didn’t have it in our record shop in Aberdeen. The first punk rock I was able to buy was probably Devo and Oingo Boingo and stuff like that; that stuff finally leaked into Aberdeen many years after the fact.
Then, finally, in 1984 a friend of mine named Buzz Osborne [Melvins singer/guitarist] made me a couple of compilation tapes with Black Flag and Flipper, everything, all the most popular punk rock bands, and I was completely blown away. I’d finally found my calling. That very same day, I cut my hair short. I would lip sync to those tapes I played them every day and it was the greatest thing. I’d already been playing guitar by then for a couple of years, and I was trying to play my own style of punk rock, or what I imagined that it was. I knew it was fast and had a lot of distortion.
The pivotal moment of discovering “real” punk rock through compilation tapes from Buzz Osborne (Melvins) was transformative. Black Flag and Flipper became catalysts, solidifying his musical direction. This discovery wasn’t just about music; it was an “awakening,” a “calling.” Cutting his hair and lip-syncing to punk tapes were outward expressions of an inner transformation, marking his full embrace of punk rock aesthetics and ethos. Crucially, he mentions playing guitar “for a couple of years” prior, indicating his instrumental journey was already underway, now finding its true north in punk.
GW: Punk expressed the way I felt socially and politically. There were so many things going on at once. It expressed the anger that I felt the alienation. It also helped open my eyes to what I didn’t like about metal bands like Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin. While I really did enjoy, and still do enjoy, some of the melodies those bands have written, I suddenly realized I didn’t like their sexist attitudes the way that they just wrote about their dicks and having sex. That stuff bored me.
Punk rock resonated deeply with Cobain because it mirrored his social and political frustrations, his anger and alienation. It also sharpened his critical perspective on other genres, particularly mainstream metal bands like Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin. While acknowledging their melodic strengths, he rejected their perceived sexism and shallow lyrical themes. Punk offered a contrasting worldview, one that aligned with his developing sense of social justice and personal authenticity. This quote is crucial to understanding Cobain’s artistic compass – he wasn’t just playing guitar; he was making a statement against what he perceived as inauthentic and objectionable in popular music.
Sexism, Sexuality, and Social Consciousness
GW: When did you start to think about sexism? Was it an outgrowth of your interest in punk?
KURT COBAIN: No, it was before that. I could never find any good male friends, so I ended up hanging out with the girls a lot, and I just felt that they weren’t being treated equally and they weren’t treated with respect. I hated the way Aberdeen treated women in general they were just totally oppressed. The words “bitch” and “cunt” were totally common, you’d hear them all the time. But it took me many years after the fact to realize those were the things that were bothering me. I was just starting to understand what was pissing me off so much, and in the last couple of years of high school, I found punk rock and it all came together. I finally understood that I wasn’t retarded, you know?
Cobain’s awareness of sexism predated his punk rock immersion. His early observations of gender inequality and the disrespectful treatment of women in Aberdeen fueled his social consciousness. Punk rock, when he discovered it, served as a validating force, providing a framework to understand and articulate these long-held feelings of unease and injustice. It was in this confluence of personal experience and punk ideology that Cobain found a sense of clarity and self-understanding – realizing, “I wasn’t retarded, you know?” – suggesting punk gave him intellectual and emotional validation.
GW: Did you ever have problems with people thinking you were gay?
COBAIN: Yeah. Even I thought that I was gay. Although I never experimented with it, I thought that might be the solution to my problem. I had a gay friend, and that was the only time that I ever experienced real confrontation from people. Like I said, for so many years they were basically afraid of me, but when I started hanging out with this guy, Myer Loftin, who was known to be gay, they started giving me a lot of shit, trying to beat me up and stuff. Then my mother wouldn’t allow me to be friends with him anymore because she’s homophobic.
GW: So did you stop?
COBAIN: Yeah. It was real devastating because finally I’d found a male friend who I could actually talk to and be affectionate with, and I was told I couldn’t hang out with him anymore. Around that same time, I was putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. He played a big role in that.
Cobain’s reflections on sexuality and friendship reveal a struggle against societal norms and homophobia. His willingness to question his own sexuality and his genuine connection with his gay friend, Myer Loftin, demonstrate a progressive and empathetic stance, especially for the time and his environment. The negative reactions he faced and his mother’s homophobia highlight the societal pressures he navigated, further solidifying his outsider status and informing his socially conscious worldview. This experience, while personal, is essential to understanding the inclusive and challenging messages embedded within his music and persona.
A Moment in Time
This 1993 interview with Kurt Cobain offers a valuable snapshot of an artist on the cusp of releasing a defining album, In Utero. It reveals a complex individual grappling with fame, personal history, and a deep-seated commitment to authenticity. While the interview touches only lightly on the technical aspects of his guitar playing, it illuminates the formative experiences and intellectual framework that shaped his musical voice. Kurt Cobain, with his guitar as his primary tool of expression, was more than just a musician; he was a cultural commentator, a voice for the alienated, and an artist who channeled his personal struggles into music that resonated globally. This interview reminds us that behind the grunge icon with a guitar was a thoughtful, sensitive, and deeply complex individual navigating a world that often felt out of tune with his own inner world.
Source: Guitar World, July 1993
